Friday, December 2, 2011

Fiction Friday: Tresses

Juliana frowned in the mirror. “Are you trying to make this difficult?” she asked her reflection, taking a swatch of hair and rolling it with her curling iron.

Holding it there, she made a mental checklist. Her make-up was almost done, her dress hung in her room, her shoes were --

“Daaadd!” she called. She stepped back and realized her hair was still wrapped around the curling iron. Unrolling it, she turned around as her father appeared just outside the doorway, holding a shoe box.

“Yes, dear? Are you looking for these?” he teased by pulling away as she reached for them.

“Seriously, Dad! He’s going to be here soon and I need those!” She reached again.

“Honey, you have half an hour. Stop worrying!” Hank kissed her forehead and reached to tousle her hair.

“Dad! Hello? Prom! Ugh, now I have to do my forehead and my bangs again!” Juliana giggled and took the shoe box to her room. Returning, she saw that look in her father’s eyes again. That was the look she tried to avoid, but couldn’t this time.

Hank took Juliana’s hands. “Your mother,” he choked up and cleared his throat. “Your mother would be so proud of you, honey. I am so proud of you.”

Juliana looked down at her father’s left hand holding hers, looked at the gold band still on his ring finger and caught herself tearing up. She brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes and rolled them up, willing the tears to evaporate.

“Dad, I know. Please don’t make me mess up my hair and make-up.”

Forty-five minutes later, Juliana joined her father and Alan in the dining room. They both beamed at her as she twirled, showing off her dress, shoes, and perfectly styled auburn tresses.

I like Juliana and so have decided to continue with her story. This piece comes several months after New Girl, which comes after Road Trip.

Writing fiction is a new experience for me and I not only welcome concrit, I crave it. How did this piece make you feel? Were you able to visualize the scene? How could I make it stronger? Click the Red Riding Hood image for the guidelines on this prompt.